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Taking Inventory

Today I am choosing to be happy.  Here’s what made/makes me happy today:

1. My drive to school with the sunrise and the leaves and the river….. perfectly beautiful orangey glow to the world

2.  First period prep

3.  An extra-large pumpkin spice coffee

4.  thinking about the new pair of boots I am going to buy once I get paid (yes materialistic, but damn those boots are awesome)

5.  cranberries in my mediterranean pasta

6.  Step-class tonight

7.  making plans for a correcting party this Sunday

8.  Hitting the snooze button twice this morning and letting Cyrus cuddle into my side just a little bit longer

9.   remembering that I can choose to be happy

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For What Its Worth

I have a tendency to let others define my worth.  If I get chosen to be on a committee at work, then I feel worthy.  If I get overlooked, I feel like the last one picked in gym class. If my students like me, then I think I am a good teacher.  If not, then I must suck at what I do.  If my friends would call me or come visit me, then I would know they like me, but when they don’t,  I think I don’t matter to them.  He doesn’t love me, so I must be unlovable.

I let the way somone else feels about me dictate the way I feel about myself.  And on top of all that, I dwell on the negative.  I tend to forget or take for granted those who do care about me, who do love me, who do make me feel good about myself.

So for all you who have been kind, who have listened, who have given me support– I thank you.

Something in the Air….

Today it felt like snow.  You know that feeling…. the air just feels and smells like snow.  My wood pellets were delivered today and I spent the evening loading them into my barn.  Winter is just around the corner.

Why is it that when I think of starting my stove up again, it seems like time is flying by but when I am told “I just need some time to figure things out”- it seems like time isn’t passing at all?

Fryeburg Fair

4004691610_67e8a76479My mother and I went to the Fyeburg Fair on Sunday.  I consumed gross amounts of fried food there and fell in love with the alpacas and goats all over again.  I’ve got a plan though for getting me some goats some day. Barn needs to come down.  Fence needs to go up.  Shelter needs to be built.  Then goats will be purchased.  Its a ten year plan, but its a plan. My little homestead will be in full swing one of these days.  It just takes time.

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The fair was good.  The drive was beautiful.  Distraction needed.  Now I need to buckle down and face the stack of papers in my car.

Country Roads

All week long I have been singing this song to myself as I drive to and from work.  Not quite like this, but I couldn’t resist posting this video.

The foliage is in full swing right now and I have switched my route to work so that I can enjoy a little more of those country roads.  I love Maine and I love where I live, mill and all.

Still here

It has been a tough week.  Today I needed some serious air.  I needed to get out of my own head.  When I got home from work I took the dogs (and the cat joined us as well ’cause she’s just that kind of cat) and we climbed over the rock wall and walked through the woods in our backyard.

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3993298349_1ca4bce478Crisp air, leaves crunching under my feet and fall colors make me happy. Banjo stopping and looking back to make sure I’m still there makes me happy.

If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go into business, because we’d be too cynical. Well, that’s nonsense. You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.  -Anne Dillard